Rex Manning Day: 'Empire Records' Remembered With Recasting For Modern Age (PHOTOS)

What's with today, today? Monday, April 8, is Rex Manning Day, a holiday created to commemorate the film "Empire Records."

The one-crazy-day comedy -- which focuses on a ragtag group of record store employees, the tyranny of chain stores and the power of Gin Blossoms and The Flying Lizards -- was released in October of 1995, making this the 17th Rex Manning Day in recorded history. But we mustn't dwell on numbers like that. No, not today. Not on Rex Manning Day.

To celebrate this year's Rex Manning Day, HuffPost Entertainment has decided to shock you (shock you, shock you) with some deviant behavior: an imagined 2013 version of "Empire Records," featuring some of today's brightest stars. We'll say no more, mon amour, and get to the fake casting:

Shailene Woodley as the Corey Mason (originally played by Liv Tyler)

Jennifer Lawrence as the Gina (originally played by Renee Zellweger)

Aubrey Plaza as Debra (originally played by Robin Tunney)

Skylar Astin as the A.J. (originally played by Johnny Whitworth)

Ezra Miller as the Lucas (originally played by Rory Cochrane)

Lucas Cruikshank as Mark (originally played by Ethan Embry)

Adam Driver as Berko (originally played by Coyote Shivers)

Emory Cohen as Warren (originally played by Brendan Sexton III)

Kieran Culkin as Eddie (originally played by James "Kemo" Wills)

Jake Johnson as Joe (originally played by Anthony LaPaglia)

Amanda Setton as Jane (originally played by Debi Mazar)

and ...

Alec Baldwin as sexy Rexy himself, Rex Manning (originally played by Maxwell Caulfield)

MEANWHILE:

• Monica Lewinsky Jokes

  There are only so many things you can rhyme with "black beret."

• The Blair Witch Project

  Although we do miss the sound our palms made against our foreheads whenever someone asked, "Is this real?"

• Fax Machines

  When someone asks us to fax something today, we panic. That is, until we realize that scanners and PDFs exist.

• Britney Spears' Virginity

  Some things, in retrospect, are too distressing to remember.

• Cargo Pants

  What did we really keep in those extra pockets, anyway?

• Pokemon

  Embarrassing hobby used "Embarrassing." It was super effective.

• The Phantom Menace

  Came out in 1999, still counts as a 90s mistake.

• Courtney Love

  The fact that she has a <a href="https://twitter.com/Courtney/" target="_hplink">Twitter account</a> is bad enough.

• Old Destiny's Child

  Beyonce is better as a single lady.

• Gay Stereotypes

  Thanks to 90s TV, aunties the world over still believe that every homosexual has a childlike obsession with Cher.

• Shortalls

  Only cute if you're half-painting a room.

• Beanie Babies

  Parents lost their money $5 at a time and kids inherited a future yard sale. Nobody really came out on top here except Ty.

• Limp Bizkit

  Although we did get some joy out of watching little suburban "badasses" sing a George Michael song without realizing it.

• Bucket Hats

  If we could describe the 90s in one word it would be "floppy."

• Dial-Up

  Who misses waiting minutes for pages to load, having to hear that weird start-up noise and not being able to receive phone calls while surfing the web? Also, who misses saying, "surfing the web?"

• War in Iraq

  Too late.

• Baywatch

  We prefer to remember Hasselhoff as he was in "Knight Rider" and then just skip right to the cheeseburger-eating 2000's version.

• JNCOs

  Remembering them is bad enough, but how about the fact that they're still being sold <a href="http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_nkw=jnco" target="_hplink">for actual human currency</a>?

• The "Rachel"

  Even <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/18/jennifer-aniston-hated-the-rachel_n_810229.html" target="_hplink">Jennifer Aniston</a> hated it.

• Cowry Shell Necklaces

  You never went to Hawaii, just American Eagle.

• Pogs

  Future civilizations are going to be baffled by the importance that was placed on these little circles of cardboard. And don't even get us started on slammers.

• Creed

  They should take a page out of Nickelback's book and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/22/nickelback-responds-to-nfl-petition-video_n_1108279.html" target="_hplink">enlist Funny Or Die</a> to make them appear at least <em>ironically</em> good.

• The Macarena

  Once a year at a wedding is as much as we can handle.

• Gel Pens Being Exciting

  We were so easily impressed.

• Ace of Base

  Unless "The Sign" said, "You'll never have to hear 'The Sign' on the radio again," we're uninterested.

• Scrunchies

  Bagginess and extra fabric were the bane of 90s fashions. Exhibit A: the scrunchie.

• Eyes Wide Shut

  Well maybe not the movie, but the relationship between Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

• The Aladdin Cartoon

  Needless to say, this cartoon didn't make it "One Jump Ahead" (*crickets*)

• Math Rock

  Arithmetic + rock and roll = nope.

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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/08/rex-manning-day-empire-records_n_2994417.html

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